If you had told me ten years ago that my husband’s illness would end up being our greatest platform for ministry I would have run screaming in the other direction. Let’s be honest. No one asks for a platform of pain or a stage of suffering. Martin’s brain tumor and resulting disabilities have been a challenge for us, both physically and spiritually. They have stretched us beyond what we thought possible and even caused us to question the very faith we had held tightly for many years.

I have often wondered why God chose me to walk through this trial so publicly, and many days literally on a stage. My faith is small. Most days I wake up feeling too weak for the task laid before me. But it is in those moments that my heart is reminded of the truth God whispered to Paul in the jail cell—a setting he hadn’t asked for either. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, He says to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Is it possible that God would allow situations into the lives of those who are most weak in order to showcase His perfect redemptive power?

This is why I wrote When God Doesn’t Fix It.

It’s for for those who have found themselves at the holy crossroads of trying to decide whether to turn from God or trust Him with greater abandon. In many ways it’s a story of faithlessness (pun intended) that God has redeemed by His faithfulness. But most of all, it’s another way of surrendering my life and story to God, to see His power displayed in ways that I could only dream might be possible.