5 Things You Should Say to Your Kids Every Day to Build Strong Identity

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We’ve been back to school for over a month and now that we’ve found our groove, I’ve turned my attention away from school supplies and preparation and on to the deeper needs of my children. Is that true for your family, too?

Just about 40 days in and we’ve already had tough homework, bus stop meltdowns, and recess loneliness. I am thankful for the education my children receive each day but as much as I’m concerned about the academic achievements they may meet at school, I want to focus on the character-building process at school, too.

Being a part of a learning community is a great privilege and an opportunity for children to grow in character. But it can also be an assault to their identity if they don’t have a firm foundation to stand on each day.

In her new book, Liked, author Kari Kampakis starts each wisdom-filled chapter with a solid truth that girls can carry with them as they step out into the world. She writes at the beginning of chapter 2: Confidence,

What people say about you is opinion. What God says about you is fact. The way to know your worth is to focus on the facts.

She goes on to include many practical nuggets to help girls overcome the lure to be defined by their social media status, let go of expectations, and just be themselves.

My kids are a bit younger than the ages she addresses in her books, but I’ve been inspired by Kari’s words. Because I want my children to grow in a soil of rich truth, even now as they begin to build their identity, I’m committing to plant these seeds in their lives this year.

5 Truths to Reinforce to Your Children About Their Identity

You are uniquely made for God’s perfect purpose.

Confidence is the most attractive trait and people are drawn to it. Own who you are. God made you beautifully and wonderfully according to His plan… and He doesn’t make mistakes.

You are loved.

More than you will ever know… first and foremost, by your Father God and deeply, and unconditionally by your Dad and me. No matter what happens out there, we are your safe haven.

You are enough.

There is no need to be different or more than you already are. As long as you are doing your best, even if you struggle, it is enough.

You can do hard things.

Sometimes it’s good to be pushed out of your comfort zone. This doesn’t mean you have to be more, but it does mean you can get better when you work hard at something with commitment and discipline. We will always be here cheering you on.

You are a light that others need to shine.

The world is full of darkness and you have the light of Christ. Shine brightly so that others feel the love of Jesus through you. Look for those who need it most. Don’t be afraid to reach out; you have something they need.

These are the truths I want planted in my children’s hearts now so they will be ready when their self-worth is challenged. These are the beliefs I want to grow out of them to beautify the world in which they live. It may seem like a never-ending process to undo the lies and deceptions our kids encounter daily through friends and social media, but when we prune each misconception and continue to plant truths about their identity in Christ, we’ll slowly but surely cultivate beautiful freedom in their lives.

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Your Turn

What are some of the struggles your children or grandchildren seem to be dealing with at school? Do you find it difficult to look past surface-level circumstances and reinforce your child’s deeper identity in Christ? We’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Jessica Wolstenholm

Jess Wolstenholm is an author, blogger and freelance writer. Jess became passionate about developing simple faith tools when she began to navigate the spiritual development of her own young children. She launched Gather & Grow in January 2017. Since the loss of her mom to pancreatic cancer in 2012, she’s focused on continuing the legacy of faith started by her wonderfully imperfect parents. Author of The Pregnancy and Baby Companion books, Jess contributes articles and resources about family and faith to Tommy Nelson, JellyTelly and The Huffington Post. When she isn’t writing, you can find Jess teaching kids at her home church or taking notes for the school PTO. She lives outside Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Dave and their two miracles, Hope (9) and Joshua (6).

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