Healing: Learning to Bond Having good emotional connections is as natural as a plant taking in water. But we are not plants living in the Garden of Eden. Therefore, we require some serious gardening in order to bear fruit. The fig tree gardener planned to “dig around and fertilize” the tree that wasn’t bearing any…
Boundaries: Pray for Wisdom
The Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. As the Twelve Step movement grows within the church, Christians in therapy and recovery voice a common confusion. Am I powerless over my behavior? If…
Establishing Boundaries With Yourself
Learning to be mature in self-boundaries is not easy. Many obstacles hinder our progress; however, God desires our maturity and self-control even more than we do. He’s on our team as an exhorter, encourager, and implorer (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12). One way to begin developing limits on out-of-control behavior is to apply a boundary checklist: 1. What are the symptoms?…
How to Set Boundaries at Work
Christians often have a warped way of looking at work. Unless someone is working “in the ministry,” they see his work as secular. However, this view of work distorts the biblical picture. All of us — not only full-time ministers — have gifts and talents that we contribute to humanity. We all have a vocation,…
Respecting God’s Boundaries
God expects His boundaries to be respected. When He makes choices, or says no to us, that is His right, His freedom. If we are to have a real relationship with Him, we need to respect that freedom. When we try and put Him into binds where He “has to do something,” we are testing…
The Law of Reaping and Sowing
The law of cause and effect is a basic law of life. The Bible calls it the Law of Sowing and Reaping. You reap whatever you sow. If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh; but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the…
Begin Your Journey with God
It almost sounds like some kind of advertising slogan, but this little play on words really says it: “God will make a way” begins with God. It’s not your belief that makes a way; it’s God who makes a way. Your faith is the vital step you take to connect with God, the way-maker. But…
Difficult Conversations: How to Create Clarity in Conflict
Be Clear about “You” and “I” Any good confrontation takes into account that two people are involved. This sounds obvious, but it really isn’t, and it is an essential part of an effective boundary conversation. One reason you have a problem in the first place is that you and the person you want to confront…
Respecting Boundaries
We have personal boundaries, personal property lines, in our relationship with God. God has designed the world so that boundaries are to be respected. He respects ours, and we need to respect His. God Respects Our Boundaries God respects our boundaries in many ways. First, He leaves work for us to do that only we can do. And He…
Grace and Truth in Difficult Conversations
A successful confrontation will always involve balancing grace and truth. Grace is your being on the side of, or “for,” the other person as well as the relationship. Truth is the reality of whatever you need to say about the problem. This balancing combination is referred to as being neutralized. Being neutralized doesn’t mean being neutral about the problem – not…