For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. — 2 Corinthians 4:17–18 NIV
As we travel down life’s bumpy road with its myriad difficulties, challenges, setbacks, and struggles, the hard seasons we encounter often bring a double whammy of pain. First, we lose something we valued or needed, such as financial stability or a relationship. Second, we enter a new season of hardship. While both are connected, they represent individual pain points that we all need to be aware of. Let’s look at each briefly.
Loss: The Unwelcome Weight of Grief
Our culture’s aversion to funerals and talking openly about death says a lot about the human reaction to loss and other “death experiences,” doesn’t it? It makes sense because these things hurt like crazy. So we pray and hope that bad things don’t happen, and we hold on to our present happiness as fiercely as possible, and we buy books on overcoming rather than on dying... and then one day, we find ourselves at metaphorical funerals, mourning the loss of things we once held dear.
A business we poured ourselves into goes bankrupt. A friendship we cherished grows cold and distant. A career we based our entire identity on crashes. A position of influence is replaced with anonymity. A family relationship blows up and leaves us reeling.
Saying goodbye is part of life, and we need to stop pretending it isn’t. The phrase “All good things must come to an end” has some truth to it. Times change. Life blooms and fades. Seasons come and go.
It’s natural to experience grief for what you’ve lost. Don’t rush through the mourning process.
You lost something, and that matters. You don’t need to excuse it or explain it or defend it, just let it come, and find God in the midst of it.
In times of loss, we might not recognize that the tumultuous feelings shaking our souls and minds are a subset of grief. Frustration, denial, blame shifting, revenge, despair, and more are normal elements of mourning loss. Instead of telling yourself to just stop feeling that way, or instead of acting out based on emotion, sit with your feelings until you understand where they are coming from and what they are telling you.
Hardship: A Challenging New Reality
The second “whammy” is the challenge of adapting to a new and more difficult life. Not only did you lose something you miss; job, money, health, power, relationship, you must now create a new normal. Since change of any kind is usually uncomfortable, this process can be challenging and frustrating.
Think of the pandemic that rocked our entire world not that long ago. Do you remember the confusing thoughts and emotions we all dealt with as we tried to navigate a world we knew would never be the same? Things felt scary, vulnerable, and sad. We suddenly realized how much we had taken for granted, and we wondered how we’d ever adjust. The world seemed to be crashing down around us.
Now, a few years out, we appear to have reached a new normal, one where sickness is taken more seriously, masks are more common, and Zoom meetings are part of doing business. The pandemic is a bizarre, dark memory that feels like another life, even though it wasn’t that long ago.
Take Heart: This Too Shall Pass
My point is this:
- Change often feels like the sky is falling and nothing will ever be right again, but it will be. It just takes time.
In the meantime, though, you’re going to experience a range of emotions. Feelings like resentment, fear, or anger for what you’re being forced to endure are completely normal.
In these moments of painful transition, be intentional about giving yourself room to breathe, to think, and to grow. The temptation is to give in to fear and worry, but slow down and take the time you need to adjust to a new reality. You’ll figure this out. You’ll make a way. No, it’s not easy, fun, or fair. You didn’t ask for this or deserve it. But here you are. So what are you going to do? Panic and implode? Or adapt and grow?
Please don’t take this as minimizing your pain. Your suffering is real and valid. But
pain doesn’t get to tell your story. Only you and God get to do that, and He’s actively working all things together for good.
What feels like the end of your story is just the transition into the next season. The present might feel shaky, but the future is solid.
If you’re going through a hard season, give yourself time to grieve and room to breathe. Don’t ignore what you’re feeling or suppress it or deny it or even judge it. But don’t be overwhelmed by it either. You get to choose your reaction, so do whatever you need to do to work through the pain and loss and come out stronger on the other side. Go to therapy. Talk to friends. Read books. Take a vacation. Eat a piece of cake. Sing in the shower. Paint something.
This isn’t the first time you’ve lost something you thought you couldn’t live without, and it won’t be the last. God is with you, and He’s working all these endings and beginnings for your good. Whatever it takes, don’t assume a hard season in your life is going to be the story of your life. In the words of my wise, resilient granddad: This too shall pass.
Dear God, thank You for promising to be with me during hard seasons of loss or hardship. You are my strength, my hope, and my comfort! Amen.
Adapted with permission from The Bumpy Road to Better by Tim Timberlake, copyright Tim Timberlake.
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Your Turn
Are you going through a loss right now? All of your feelings are valid and Jesus wants to hear it all. Take it to Him and give Him time to restore you. He will! ~ Devotionals Daily