When I originally thought of the idea for Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, I was in a place of desperation, and I saw so many other women who were right there beside me. The thing we all have in common is little ones. With some perspective, I can see that having little ones is a season. For some, that season is longer than others, but children, Lord willing, do grow up. And they do get easier in many ways. . . . The point is, no matter how desperate we feel in certain phases of our lives, we are not defeated. We may feel absolutely bone-weary, and hormonal, and depressed or a little nutty, but we’ll get through it. We will.
I acknowledge that you might be someone who needs very practical help right now because you think you might lose your mind. And you might, for a while. But you have a faithful God who loves you and whom I believe will bring you what you need to get through. There is no one answer for everyone, because the Lord works differently in each of our lives, but you need to know that He hasn’t forgotten you. He doesn’t forget His children, big or little.
If you do go through this season of desperation alone and without help—though I pray that does not happen—then I want you to write down what you’re experiencing and how it affects you. Put in writing how you are going to be there for your children one day and the other young women God puts in your path and be the helper you never had.
I want you to think of all the times you have said . . .
“I wish I just had someone to help me with. . . ”
“Why don’t any of the older women ever volunteer in the nursery?”
“I’ve been praying for a mentor, but so far, no one has shown up.”
“It seems like all the older women don’t want to invest in the younger women. Where are they?”
“I just need a break . . . I need to breathe.”
“I have no money, so I can’t go anywhere when I need to get away. I could just really use a night away alone.”
“I’m drowning in laundry! I wish I had some help.”
You have probably thought many of those things, and more. You recognize that you need help, you need time, and you need refreshment. I want you to commit right now that, Lord willing, you will be that person for a few young women one day. I want you to tuck into your heart that one day you will help a young mother with her laundry. That one day you will open up your home for a young mother to come and spend the night to have some quiet time alone. That one day you will volunteer to be in the nursery, so a young mother doesn’t have to. That you will make yourself available to mentor and teach young women. That you will be the help you desperately wish you had right now.
Will you commit with me to be that woman one day, Lord willing?
I will too.
And you know what? You will be good at it, because you will have compassion. You will remember what it was like to feel alone and desperate, and you will be happy to give your time and whatever energy you have left.
You know what else we can do? We can raise our children to help others. We can teach them and show them how to care for young mothers in the church. We can show our daughters how to serve the body by encouraging them and training them to go to the homes of young mothers and be their helpers . . . without charge. Our daughters can cook meals for young mothers, babysit, and clean in order to serve them.
We can be the change-makers. You and me, friend, we can be the change.
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Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. (NIV) – Revelation 21:7
Seven times in the book of Revelation, God says that he who overcomes will be blessed in some way. Throughout this book, we have spoken of the many ways we all encounter difficulty and challenge in our walks as moms. In what ways is the focus of your heart the most important part of overcoming the difficulties and becoming one who lives victoriously throughout all the days of motherhood?
Respond to this question in the comments section below and let us know what you think.