Remember the Good

Remember the Good | The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner

Remember the Good

That your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. — Philippians 1:9-11 NKJV

So often we live in the moment and forget how far we’ve come. We do this by expecting our kids to be more mature than they are and by forgetting that our spouses are not perfect. Today’s story depicts one woman’s remembrance and recognition of what is still true, even though she long ago forgot.

Crystal sat and looked at the questions for the assignment and drew a blank. Thirteen years had gone by, and she literally couldn’t remember why she had married her husband. Three children graced their lives, and she and David were busy parenting, busy with work, and generally exhausted.

Pen in hand, she pondered the question, “What five attributes or strengths were reasons enough for you to marry your husband?” Thirteen years was a long time. “intelligence,” she thought, remembering the moments when he had impressed her with his business knowledge. “Good with kids,” she wrote for number two. She smiled as she remembered the little boy in the apartment next to his that David would play with on Saturday mornings. “Passionate” became number three, as Crystal remembered their first kiss and the first few years of their marriage. she started to laugh, remembering how they could barely make it up the stairs to the bedroom before… well, anyway! “Adventurous,” she wrote next, thinking of the long drives they took and how he never wanted to eat at the same restaurant twice. “Responsible” became number five. Crystal found herself smiling as she remembered her friend Joan’s complaints this morning about her husband not paying the electric bill and their power being shut off.

Looking at the list, she realized that her husband was, for the most part, the same guy she’d married. Those strengths were still present in him; she just hadn’t taken the time to recognize them recently. Her husband really was a good-natured man, with good intentions. In thinking of some of her girlfriends, she realized she could have done much worse for a husband. She took a moment to thank God for the man he had given her.

Bottom Line: Wisdom comes from seeing the truth in the big picture and not allowing your perceptions to be clouded by life’s daily challenges.

So What about You?

  1. What five positive attributes or strengths were reasons enough for you to marry your husband? Write these in list form, thinking back to when you were engaged and the first months of your marriage.
  2. Why was each one important to you at the time?
  3. Ask God to show you examples of how your husband still possesses these strengths. What are you sensing right now?
  4. When is the last time you communicated to your husband about his strengths? How did he respond?
  5. How do you think your husband would react to your reminding him of his strengths every day? Is your husband expecting kindness from you or criticism? When is the last time you saw your husband the way God sees him?

Jesus died for him too.

Why does God love your husband? As an extra challenge, when you are finished with the “remember” exercise, tell your husband what you wrote down and why, and then comment to him about how these strengths are still present in his character. Ask God to help you reinforce your husband’s strengths daily.

Excerpted with permission from The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner, copyright Nina Roesner.

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Your Turn

It’s so easy to get caught up in annoyance with someone we love instead of dwelling on what is good. It’s easy and it’s destructive — whether it be a spouse, or a parent, or a child. As Christians, we are exhorted to think on what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, etc. (Philippians 4:8) and what a blessing we can be to others when we tell them the good we see! Come share your thoughts with us on our blog. We would love to hear from you about blessing others with our positive words! ~ Devotionals Daily

The Respect Dare

The Respect Dare
Nina Roesner
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Nina Roesner

Nina Roesner is the author of The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband, and is the executive director of Greater Impact Ministries, Inc., a Christian training organization. Nina has more than 20 years in the communications and training industry and has coached numerous executives, managers, individuals, wives, church staffs, and pastors around the country. She has been married to her husband, Jim, since 1991, and together they are privileged to be raising and homeschooling three children.

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