Someone who only speaks German cannot communicate with someone who only speaks Spanish. Each needs to learn the other’s vocabulary. Communication can only happen when there is mutual understanding. Communication is not the key to marriage. Mutual understanding is the key to a successful marriage. Based on Ephesians 5:33, wives speak the language of love and husbands…
What Unconditional Love Does Not Mean
If we are to love our kids unconditionally — regardless of their disobedience — it means we must come to grips with who we are as parents, independent of our children. As I mentioned, this family-of-origin stuff is very real for me. There were moments when I could feel it surging in me, just as I had seen it…
How to Stop the Family Crazy Cycle
Stopping the Family Crazy Cycle can seem daunting, but a parent’s first task has to focus on decoding. I want to underline just how badly children need our love and how we must constantly be decoding them and the situation, even when we may feel disrespected by what is happening. We must always guard against getting so…
The Real Meaning of Unconditional Love
There is no condition that causes me to be unloving or disrespectful. In other words, if I am unloving or disrespectful, it is not because of certain circumstances caused by others that make me react unlovingly or disrespectfully. I choose to be harsh, independent of the circumstances. As one parent admitted to me: “We tend to be Christlike when the…
Stopping the Family Crazy Cycle
We have all seen the movie thrillers where the time bomb is ticking away and the hero has a few seconds to cut the right wire. Just before the final second passes, he defuses the bomb and shuts down the detonating device. Whew! Catastrophe averted! In a real sense parents face defusing situations many times…