All too often, some of the most critical aspects of our lives require absolutely no formal training — marriage and parenting, for example. You do not have to take a class to become a parent or even to marry someone, even though these are both lifelong commitments. No formal training is required for these…
The Stages of the Masculine Journey
If I were to sketch out for you the masculine journey in broad strokes, I believe this is how it unfolds, or better, how it was meant to unfold: Boyhood to Cowboy to Warrior to Lover to King to Sage. All in the course of about eighty years or so, give or take a…
How God the Father Initiates a Man
Desperate for Initiation A man needs to know his name. He needs to know he’s got what it takes. And I don’t mean “know” in the modernistic, rationalistic sense. I don’t mean that the thought has passed through your cerebral cortex and you’ve given it intellectual assent, the way you know about the Battle of Waterloo or the ozone…
A Broader Vision
Every culture has its ideal vision of masculinity. Sociologist Erving Goffman once wrote, “In an important sense there is only one completely unblushing male in America: a young, married, white, urban, northern, heterosexual, Protestant, father, of college education, fully employed, of good complexion, weight, and height, and a recent record in sports… Any male who…
Becoming a Man of Action
Fighting Your Way Up There is an old saying: champions don’t become champions in the ring—they are merely recognized there. That’s true. If you want to see where someone develops into a champion, look at his daily routine. Former heavyweight champ Joe Frazier stated, “You can map out a fight plan or a life plan.…
All Relationships Are Going Somewhere
Here’s something I heard recently. “Men move toward whatever makes them feel competent.” As soon as I heard that I knew it was true. Every man I know migrates toward something that makes him feel powerful and in control. If it’s work, he puts in more hours, if it’s sports he’s constantly at the gym.…
What Makes a Man a Man?
Football has been dealt a credibility blow lately with the allegations against some of the NFL’s bigger stars. It raises some questions: Are we looking up to the wrong people? Are there no football players we can look to as role models? Tim Brown was a star wide receiver for the Oakland Raiders. He stood…