Tim Hawkins: Yoga Pants

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Editor’s Note: Enjoy this personal message from Tim Hawkins straight to us!

This may be the most amazing song I have ever written, or it may not be. Let the vagueness intrigue you. Don’t doubt me, though. These stanzas are about real life. As real as it gets. No music required — the lyrics will suffice to express the deepest part of my soul.

My wife was out for three days to visit her mom

I was supposed to cook and clean while she was gone

Somehow she never buckles under all the demands

I had to know her secret, I had to understand

Well I thought it might be coffee but that gives her the shakes

It might be soap operas but she says they’re too fake

It’s not the car she drives or what she puts in her hair

I realized it’s got to be something that she wears

Yoga pants, she wears them all day

Yoga pants, at work and at play

Yoga pants, what’s all the fuss?

What makes them so special that they keep them from us?

Yoga pants

Well any normal person would leave it alone

But I’m not a normal person and nobody was home

My wife was out of town and the kids were outside

I went into the bedroom and decided I would try… her

Yoga pants, so stretchy and thin

Yoga pants, feels like my own skin

I’ve never done yoga, but these make me want to try

Yoga pants, so soft and so sleek

Yoga pants, feels good on my cheeks

Yoga pants, I’ll just say thanks

I don’t wear yoga pants… I wear Spanx

Yoga pants

Tweet Thought @timhawkinscomic “I enjoy your husband’s hot pants.” — A lady trying to tell my wife that she likes my “Yoga Pants” song.

Tweet Thought @timhawkinscomic Thanks, North Face, for cutting-edge technology that keeps people warm from their cars to the front door of Starbucks.

Watch the Yoga Pants Video

Excerpted with permission from Diary of a Jackwagon by Tim Hawkins, copyright Thomas Nelson.

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Your Turn

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve taken my kids and friends to see Tim Hawkins in concert. He’s just a complete riot! But, Yoga Pants holds a special place in my heart especially because they’re a part of my daily uniform. What is your favorite Tim Hawkins sketch? Come share with us on our blog! We want to hear your favorite! ~ Laurie McClure, Faith.Full

Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins has forged a no-bones, no-bull comedy experience that entertains the entire family. Described as one part gifted and two parts twisted, Tim combines hilarious stand-up plus musical mastery to highlight the brokenness of human nature while marveling in its absurdity. He performs live for 200,000 fans at 120+ sold-out shows in 30+ states every year. His Jackwagon Crew continues to grow into a gut-busting revolution of multi-generational proportions with 300 million views on YouTube and a motley half million Facebook fans. Tim and his wife Heather live in Missouri with their four crud muffins.

Follow Tim Hawkins on:   Facebook   Twitter   Website

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