For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. — Isaiah 41:13
Thought for the Day:
While feeling unglued is all I’ve really known, today my life can be different.
I’m sad because of the way I acted today. I’m disappointed in my lack of self-control. And the more I relive my emotionally driven tirade, the more my brain refuses sleep.
I have to figure this out.
What is my problem? Why can’t I seem to control my reactions? I stuff. I explode. And I don’t know how to get a handle on this.
But God help me if I don’t get a handle on this. I will destroy the relationships I value most and weave into my life permanent threads of short-temperedness, shame, fear, and frustration. Is that what I really want? Do I want my headstone to read, “Well, on the days she was nice, she was really nice. But on the days she wasn’t, rest assured, hell hath no fury like the woman who lies beneath the ground right here”?
No. That’s not what I want. Not at all. I don’t want the script of my life to be written that way.
So, at 2:08 a.m., I vow to do better tomorrow. But better proves elusive and my vow wears thin in the face of daily annoyances and other unpleasant realities. Tears slip, and I’m worn out from trying.
I feel broken. Unglued, actually. I have vowed to do better at 2:08 a.m. and 8:14 a.m. and 3:37 p.m. and 9:49 p.m. and many other minutes in between. So why aren’t things getting better? Why aren’t my reactions tamer?
I know what it’s like to praise God one minute and in the next minute yell and scream at my child — and then to feel both the burden of my destructive behavior and the shame of my powerlessness to stop it.
The emotional demands keep on coming. Unrelenting insecurity. Wondering if anyone appreciates me. Feeling tired, stressed, and hormonal.
Feeling unglued is really all I’ve ever known. And I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s all I’ll ever be.
Those were the defeating thoughts I couldn’t escape. Maybe you can relate. If you relate to my hurt, I pray you will also relate to my hope. While unglued is all I’ve really known, I believe that with God’s help, today my life can be different. That’s my personal revelation of hope. The pages of this devotional are my hope journal. A place of tender mercies and grace given so many times it almost seems scandalous. How can our God be so patient? I don’t know. But He is. Today, He’s offering us the fresh start our souls desperately need. Our key verse from Isaiah 41 promises He will help us.
We can be different. A slate wiped clean. A page crisp white. A chance to start rewriting the old scripts of past failures. For me. For you. Together.
We can do this.
God, thank You that this is a new twenty-four hours. Today, I want to believe I can start writing a new script for my life. Help me to overcome the disbelief I have because of my past failures. Amen.
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What is my problem? Is that a question you ask yourself when you’re feeling unglued? When you worship one moment and yell the next? Do you trust that God can change you? Come join the conversation on our blog! We would love to hear what the Lord is doing in your life! ~ Devotionals Daily